Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Day 2/30: Well, I didn't bite my nails, anyway.

I felt great, if a little sore, on Tuesday after the previous night's yoga. Because I only did a single set of the series, I tried to work every posture as much as possible, because I only had one shot at it. It's usually a good system for me when I'm strapped for time and trying to balance obligations. It feels like a copout compared to the way I used to practice, but I don't do myself any favors when I compare now to then.

I didn't get a seat on the train home last night so I didn't get that good nap, and I walked partway home from the train station (uphill, naturally), so by the time I got home it was later and I was even more exhausted than usual. Every part of my body hurt. (I have a weird pain condition where, basically, my nerves don't know how to distinguish between normal sensation and pain sensation, so they just freak out and everything becomes a pain sensation. Rad.) That pain, like so many things, gets worse with stress and lack of sleep.

The BF had to work on work, so I concocted dinner. Which I was really excited about. Really, I was! But picking apart a roasted, then slow-cooked, chicken and separating meat and fat and stock and trying to not step on the dog and making soup, well, let's just say it was a bit intense. Dinner wasn't done till almost 9, but it was SO good and nourishing. And I was so happy to have dealt with the chicken. (I'd worried it would go bad when the power was out for 3 days and I buried everything from the fridge/freezer in the 3 feet of snow we got. It was fine.)

To his credit, the BF was very encouraging, saying that I'd feel so good if I just did at least a half-hour before bed. But I was toast. Toast. It took an inordinate amount of effort to lift my arm to brush my teeth. I hate when the pain/exhaustion gets me like this...

So I blew off the yoga on Day 2, and normally this would really get me down on myself. One of those failures of a "why even bother, all-or-nothing" attitude. But — I have an opportunity to take two classes at a studio on Sunday, and I'm really psyched to do my first double in a long time (at least two years).

The only way I've ever been able to subdue the pain/exhaustion syndrome has been to practice yoga regularly, and taking it easy when my body is screaming at me. So until Sunday, I'm going to push less in my postures, and work with the range of motion in a more gentle way. But I'm not giving up on my 30 days.


  1. Yikes, sounds like a tough day :-( I'm sorry, and I'm sorry to hear about the pain. Do you have fibro? I have several friends who suffer from that. Things like yoga seem to help, but from what I've seen them go through, it's no picnic. (You don't have to answer the fibromyalgia question, of course! I just thought I'd ask.)

  2. Haha, it's ok. :) I have been told by a doctor that I have fibro, but I don't like to call it that. I don't really know why. There are so many people who are suffering from it soooo much worse than I am, that I almost feel like it insults them to say I have the same thing. Does that make sense?

  3. I hope the pain goes away soon. I am so sorry to hear about this. Glad that you can make it to the studio twice on Sunday

  4. Yes, it does make sense. And there's also something about a "stigma" that some people fear, although that may not be the problem here. Sometimes naming a condition empowers it. But don't sell yourself short--pain is pain, even if the degrees vary.

  5. I"m happy to hear you didn't beat yourself up for not getting to your yoga. It happens. And sometimes things are beyond our control.
    I do hope you are feeling better.

    And good for you for saving the food! It's been a long time since I've lived anywhere that is cold enough in the winter, that I would be able to store my food outside. I bet it was delicious soup.